Sunday, August 05, 2007

God Has No Favorites

We have another long story this week; you really need to read all of Acts chapter 10 to understand our text. It’s an interesting read, so go ahead and enjoy it. Here is the part of the chapter that we will focus on:

Acts 10:34-48

Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right. You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached – how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him. "We are witnesses of everything he did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They killed him by hanging him on a tree, but God raised him from the dead on the third day and caused him to be seen. He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen – by us who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name." While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God. Then Peter said, "Can anyone keep these people from being baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have." So he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked Peter to stay with them for a few days.

Questions
  • As you read this what are the first things that come to your mind?
  • What in this text strikes you as remarkable?
  • What is the main point of this story?
  • How does this story relate to Acts 1:8?
  • Can you imagine Cornelius? How is his life described?
  • How might this text address the idea that a person can relate to God on the basis of goodness?
  • How is it that these people receive the Spirit before baptism (cf. Acts 2:38)? What does this mean?
  • How does passage fit with this statement? We are baptized believers participating in the life of God for the sake of others.

What else is on your mind this week?

35 comments:

Allen said...

I am really battling a cold, so I don’t know what that means for me today. I know my voice sounds different...

We take Lester back to Butler tomorrow. The dread of doing so does not compare to last year, but I still feel a certain sadness. I will miss him. He has begun a very definite path of “leaving and cleaving,” as he anticipates his marriage in about 53 weeks. The sadness of separation now is cancelled (way) out by the joy of adding another child, Maddie, to our family.

Anonymous said...

We will be taking landon back to school tomorrow too. He's got his own place with josh. I'm sure mother will put her loving touches on the place if not,surly her cleaning touch. I will miss my son too while having him home this summer I'm starting to see how he is not my little boy no more but truly a young man after gods heart. We have butted heads from time to time this summer, but I respect him for standing up for what he believes. Wheather it is somthing pertaining to my spiritual walk or how I built a treated landscape wall.Ha Ha. it hurts somtime to be taught/corected by your son but he is now my son/ accountability partner. I really am proud oh him and I'm thankful for the young man he is,God has truly given me more blessings than I could have dreamed of with three great kids and one great wife. Hope I don't sound braggy just thankful in the name of jesus I surely don't deserve it TY sorry about all the spelling,punct.,etc my burden

Anonymous said...

The ty means Troy Young boy I wish I had of put a period after TY and maybe a PS. I wish I had a cool name like T-dub or somthing maybe someone could help me with that

Anonymous said...

Today Jon came up to me and introduced herself to me and I was shocked because I have seen her in church but never knew who she actually was. Once again, it was a pleasure to finally meet her face to face.

How to get rid of a cold. By Doctor Hunter

Hey Allen, if you want to get rid of that cold of yours this is what you do. First you must have someone go into the restroom with you. Don't forget, take someone in the bathroom with you. Stick your head in the toilet and breathe in real fast and after the person helps bring you around, cause there is a good chance that you will pass out or even die (especially if you do not have anyone in the bathoom with you). your cold will be gone. All that toilet water will run up your nose and clean the inside of your nostril and other part of your inside and you will be clean and ready for a new day. Don't forget to take someone in the bathroom with you. Sign Doctor Gino Hunter

Allen said...

Gino, clearly you are not a doctor, and apparently you did even spend a night in a Holiday Inn Express. My cold is much better... it's now my stomach that doesn't feel so good.

Allen said...

T-Y, you are always cool in my book. Comparing you and T-Dub is like the apple orange thing.

Beautiful words you have written. I love you and your family. Truly you are blessed.

I was thinking of all my blessings this last week. Right at the top are family members.

As I look over all areas of my life, I see blessings. I am not worthy. Just humbly thankful.

Anonymous said...

What you mean I'm not a doctor? You want to see my certificate and my diploma?

Hey I have a question to ask and it's about the tick thing. When they took all the animal into the ark, since God shows no favorite, did he allow two ticks to come aboard as well?

For the last couple of weeks the class has spoken about baptism. When a person is baptize, they are dying to their old self and becoming a new person in Christ. If I ever have a child, I would not allow my child to get baptize until he fully understand that what he is doing is making a change for God. He is telling God, I am laying everything on the table for you and giving up my life for you. To be baptize means you are making a deal with God to follow him to the end of the world and no matter what happens, no matter what temptations that is thrown your way, you will put your whole trust in God and do what God expects of you. I believe that a person should read the bible for themself and understand, the things I use to do I can't do no more. I know that when I accepted Christ into my life, I was not ready to give up a lot of things, and I wasn't about to be baptize fully knowing I wasn't ready to die fully. So I waited and three years later, I fell down on my knees and told God, here I am, ready to give it all up. When I was baptized, I felt different, I felt whole, I felt peace and joy, I no longer felt alone. When I would intentionally sin, there would be a feeling (The Holy Spirit) letting me know, Gino you know that isn't right and after awhile, you get so tired of feeling dirty so eventually, the desire is no longer there and you know, once the desire is gone, you feel that you just wasted your life on nothing. So eventually you stop doing the thing you come to hate and despise. When I read the bible, I can look at a lot of the things I use to do that God did not approve of and smile because I no longer live that life style anymore. I got baptize when I was a little boy and had no clue what baptism really meant. How can a little boy be baptize if he doesn't understand it? You cannot say God, well the pastor talked about baptism today and he said that in order for me to be filled with the holy spirit, I have to be baptized first. I have seen that happened and I had no problem going up to people and asking them about their understanding of getting baptize. Those who said no, I had no problem telling them, in God eyes you are not baptized. It's impossible to die to the old self if you don't know what the requirement are? That would be like me walking into church with five different girlfriends on the side and saying God I want to die and become new but in truth I'm not willing to give up those five girlfriends of mine. With baptism, you have to want to give it all up, including the woman.

Allen said...

Hey, I was talking to T-DUB tonight at camp, and he told me that Troy already has a cool name. It is T-ROY. Get it? T-ROY. Can’t you just hear shrill cheerleaders chanting T-ROY! T-ROY!, and then he emerges from the tunnel to a thunderous crowd. He’s clad in the garb of a gladiator. Of course the same could be said/imagined for T-DUB. But what about Holy Smoker? Nah. Bigg Daddy? Nope. And speaking of Bigg Daddy, did someone kidnap him?

Speaking of smoking... I smoked 3 racks of ribs and a chicken this weekend. The flavor of the ribs improved as I tweaked my seasoning ingredients and techniques. These racks were not quite up the standard I want for tenderness, so I am going to have to do it again. Let me say this about smoking meat. Finally I have found a hobby/activity that is somewhat passive. All my other interests seem to involve a lot of hard work and activity: running, landscaping, fence building, cutting wood, etc. Smoking is so different. Sure I get up a lot to check the temperature of the smoke, etc., but most of the time I am sitting in a nearby chair reading. Good stuff.

I enjoyed the singing at camp tonight. There something about the simplicity and old fashionedness of it all that I find... peaceful? Joyful? Gary did a good job of leading, as usual. It was nice to have Southland and other churches there. It was surprisingly good crowd for a hot and humid night.

So what’s up with you?

I need to go help Lester load up his car and our van. Sniff, sniff... Stupid allergies!

Anonymous said...

Forgiveness Is A Must


Growing up in a abusive home was probably the hardest trial I ever faced because when it came down to forgiving my parents, I just couldn’t find it in my blood to forgive them. Especially my mom. I was twenty two years old when my mom came to me and asked me to forgive her. I laughed in her face and told her, “oh hell no, there is no way I could ever forgive you for what you and John did to me”. My not forgiving her hurt her and you could see it a mile away. She couldn’t hide her feelings and I made sure she knew that forgiveness was something she would never ever receive from me. I toss the why should I forgive you after all the things you and John did to me guilt trip up in her face. She never answered with words but she would answer with her tears. I would walk away happy, feeling justify for what I did. My attitude was, she hurt me for a long time, now she will hurt for a very long time. I was twenty five when she had asked me again to forgive her. Again I told her no and once again you could see the pain in her face. I didn’t go into the why I shouldn’t forgive you speech again. I had no reason to. She already knew why and by me telling her no I knew this would again hurt her. The last time I would ever see my mother again was the night I went down to the trailway station and purchase me a one way ticket to Los Angeles California. I was leaving Baltimore MD to start my life new in Los Angeles California. After purchasing my ticket, I got on the MTA bus and was going home to pack. At one of the bus stops, my mom happened to get on the bus (and I hadn’t seen my mom in five years). I was sitting in the middle roll and said to myself, “if she doesn’t see me, I’m not going to say a thing”. She walked right passed me and before getting the opportunity to sit down, I yelled, hey mom, how are you doing? When she turned around and saw me sitting there, she put on one of the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life. She had asked me how I was doing and I told her about my move to LA. She had asked me would I like to come over so we could talk before leaving, I told her no because I had to go home and pack since I was leaving in the morning. We started talking on the bus but there was a lot of questions I wanted answered and talking on a crowded bus, was not the place for it. When her stop came up, she got up, turned around and told me, “I wish you luck on your trip to LA, I just wish we had more time to talk”. I got off at her stop and didn’t say another word until we got to the house. All I kept thinking to myself was, I had to get home and get packed. Ok, I can give her five minutes the most than I am going home and start packing. That night my mom, my brother and I sat up all night long talking about anything and everything. We started talking about nine that night and didn’t come to a close until six the next day. There was a lot of questions asked but the mother that I once knew, was not the mother I was talking to that night. So I never bother bringing up the abuse talk. Why ruin the moment. When I went to leave, she grabbed me by my hand and asked me to please forgive her. There was no way in the world I was about to tell her no, not on my last day there. Not after the conversation we had was I going to ruin our last day together. I squeezed her hand and told her, yes, you are forgiving. I hadn’t seen my mom cried in a long time, there was a release there and not only did she feel it, I felt it too. It felt like a thousand pounds just dropped off of shoulder. When I saw the first tear drop fall from her face, I grabbed her and gave her a hug. All three of us cried that morning, a morning that I will never forget. A moment of peace, joy and the start of a new beginning. In all that time I wouldn’t forgive my mom, I was not only hurting her, I was hurting myself as well and not even knowing it. Sure there was happiness for a time, but that happiness never lasted throughout the day. If you are struggling with forgiving someone, take my word, God understand. It took me over nine years before I forgave my mom and the opportunity was there more than once. God made sure of that and at the time, I was not a believer at all. Until you forgive someone who hurt you, no matter what the situation was, no matter what wrong they done in your life, if you do not forgive them, God will not allow that door of unforgiveness to ever be closed. You will have that person picture instill in you and no matter how bad you try to forget them, it will haunt you until you do. When God showed me a picture of John while I was going through the program in LA, I forgave John that day. I wanted to be free of having any part of him in me. One day I went to give my testimony, I knew about the abuse, but the movie clips that use to run through my head was no longer there. Today, I do not see the past but I see my life as a living testimony for those who are struggling with that broken down VCR (mind set) that keeps rewinding and playing the same track over and over again. God tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Allen said...

Wow, Gino, that’s a neat story of forgiveness.

Allen said...

Last night, as it was getting dark, I walked back to my pond and enjoyed looking at this space that has become a place of peace and relaxation for me. I thought of the transformation that has taken place there: dirt moved, rock wall built, swings placed, big rocks and little rocks brought in, fence built, and flowers planted. I am not sure if that is what triggered my thought process, but I started thinking about what makes a ministry effective.

How do I know if I am doing any good? How do we know if our church is doing any good? How do you measure such things? Numbers? Maybe, but numbers are figures, and the old line is said for a reason: figures lie and liars figure. Yet numbers are one way to get an idea of what is going on. Luke, in Acts, seems to place an emphasis on numbers, BUT if you try measure the success of Jesus’ ministry on numbers, then you would have to say that he didn’t do that well.

I think the best way to measure ministry success is spiritual formation. What kind of people are being formed as a result of ministry? Specifically, are people being conformed into the image of Jesus? Cornelius was a good man, but he did not have Jesus. Saul was a great Jew, but he didn’t have Jesus. A relationship with Jesus, which, in turn, causes us to look like him is the way to measure ministry.

Do you think our church is helping form people into the image of Jesus? Are our teaching and preaching ministries doing this? How does it take place? The transformative power comes from the Spirit of God, right? What is the Spirit’s greatest tool? The Word, right?

What do you think? Is our church doing well in forming people? How can we improve?

Anonymous said...

Sorry Guyz, but I've been hitt'n it 7 dayz a week, 10, 12 hr. dayz, it's hard on us senior citizens. I've missed you folks. I'll try to get in Wed. if I get off before dark. BIGG DADDY

Anonymous said...

Allen, I agree that the transformative power comes from the holy spirit (Full Throttle God Power), but i'm leaning towards the greatest tool of the holy spirit is the carriers of the holy spirit and spreaders of the Word (God's people, the Body of the Church) The word is the second most important tool. and again this is as much of a question as it is a portion of my opinion.

Simply because if the word was the most important transformative tool then God would have or could have simply supplied trillions of bibles and let it all be. it's the carriers of His Holy Spirit that starts (key word "Starts") the ball rolling into other folks learning or at least listening to the word. right??? just like what's the most important thing in driving a nail, is it the hammer (tool) or the muscle that swings the hammer.?? another example is Philip and the unich the unich had the word but it took a carrier/believer (Philip) to shed light on it to make it real/understandable/acceptable.

Good questions though. I hope your cold goes away. and Sorry Gino, i'd rather be as sick as a dog than throw my head in a toilet bowl. ha ha but you go right ahead with that. ha ha
Take Care Ya'll.. Jon Goller

Anonymous said...

Jon's post made me remember that old saying, "You may be the only Bible your neighbor ever reads."

Donna

Anonymous said...

Oh, hey! I forgot what I was originally going to ask: Can we come to God on our own, or do we have to be drawn by the Holy Spirit?

Donna, again.

Anonymous said...

I often wonder how the Holy Spirit worked with people before the day of Pentacost. Was he still working in people, just differently? Was he just working with the priests? We know he existed, he is part of the trinity.
Right now, in the Pathfinders class on Sunday mornings, we have decided to start at the beginning of God's plan with Abraham. I have wondered about the three "angels" that came to see Abraham and Sarah to inform them of their upcoming child, Isaac. I wonder if they were just three angels or was it the trinity coming to visit? Any thoughts. I mean it was the start of the big plan. Pretty good ribbon cutting ceremony, huh?
I know that this is a little off topic, but the more I learn about and listen to the Holy Spirit the more I'm intrigued, confused, humbled, etc...
I'm pretty sure that if I would just shut up and listen to the spirit, I would be be a lot better off. Sometimes we get pretty hung up on ourselves and forget how much grace we've been given. I think the gift of the Holy Spirit is part of that whole grace/gift package.
My $0.02
Brent

Anonymous said...

Just a note to share my morning with you, if you are remotely interested. I woke up tired and cranky and had a hard time getting going so after breakfast I went outside and looked at all the flowers blooming and among them were some new cannas. After a walk around the yard, observing all the flowers blooming and those which are going to bloom, a feeling of peace and contentment came over me and I know God was there giving me encouragement to begin the day well. I think in some way it was His Spirit working in me and giving me encouragement. It may just have been the fresh air but I choose to think it was God who provides the fresh air in our lives. Keep cool everyone. Sherron

Anonymous said...

Brent; interesting point about the three angles. They could have been the trinity; I also looked at it as being a refrence to the trinity. Yet with your thought why wouldn't have been the actual trinity in a form that Abraham and Sarah could relate to. It is how it all started so why not have the big guns present for the start of it. Just my random thoughts to go with Brent's 2cents. Robin

Anonymous said...

Robin, Then if you look at where they went from there, it appears as if the next order of business was to clean up the neighborhood before Isaac is born. They left there and went to Sodom to find at least 10 people (per Abraham's bargaining practices) in order to save Sodom.
As we all know, the "guys" in town thought they would have their way with these three beings. Definitely puts a diferent perspective on the level of that infraction is you think of them as the trinity.
Brent

Anonymous said...

Allen, I think we really are doing a great job. I dont think it is evident in numbers but rather in the way our hearts/souls are growing and changing. I see this most in Gary's class (i only say Gary's class because, well thats the class I'm in and arround most... I firmly believe that these 'transformations' are occuring across the board... but none the less...) Michael and I have really begun a transformation of our own, we are still works in progress but our thought process has changed in doing things for Christ and eventually the transformation will continue and we will follow through more on our thoughts.

I know I've said it on here before but I turely believe some BIG and WONDERFUL things are going to happen with our church soon. I dont know what they are but something is coming and I think the Lord will really use us in fantastic ways.

(One thing I'm really hoping for is small groups... its such a neat ministry and such a blessing to those who participate! Small groups are also great places to invite friends because they are smaller, less intimidating atmosphers for peopole. And places where you can really dig into the word with fellow believers! Sorry thats my advertisement for the day :O)
-EE

Anonymous said...

Brent, when you read the passage(Gen.18) it appears that one of the men/angels was the Lord. I've never thought of the possibility the trinity was there. I wonder if we should separate the Godhead out as much as we do. It's a mystery and I know there are "Three in One", but I'm not sure they act separately. I mean they seem to act as a unit. Even in creation "the Spirit moved upon the waters" and "the Word (Jesus) was in the beginning with God". It seems that the Spirit is the enactor or enforcer(I'm not sure what word I'm looking for here) to carry out God's will. I believe that the Spirit is always involved in conversion , at least through the word of God and probably more deeply than we realize. Of course, Jesus and God are also involved in our conversion (being the very reason for it). It's a great mystery, but I'm content to wait until I get to heaven. It will be enough to be there in His Presence. Neva

Allen said...

OK, I’m back. You guys are doing very well without me, actually. The last couple of days have been rather crazy. We took Lester back to Butler on Monday, and we were SUPPOSED to pick Luke up at the airport on Monday night at 10. Luke had been in Utah for the last week or so seeing a good friend of his. Well, the weather got stormy in Chicago on Monday, so Luke’s flight from Salt Lake City to Chicago got delayed in one hour increments until he didn’t get to Chicago long, long after his connecting flight to Indy. Luke spent the night on a cot in O’Hare. We figured out that this might happen about 9 p.m. Monday and came back home. Not much sleep Monday evening. Tuesday morning Luke managed to get on a flight, so we rushed back to Indy and got him. I was a zombie most of the day yesterday. Slept well last night. Today I have been catching up on the things that I didn’t get done Monday and Tuesday. I’ll probably be catching up the rest of the week, which is fine.

Allen said...

Working my way through some of your posts...

Wow Jon! I love the way you think and what you said. The country prophet strikes again! How true that the Spirit resides in us and not the pages of a book. I guess I would bridge your thought and mine by saying that we enhance the effectiveness of the Spirit by reading the word. But I like your thought and the way you expressed it better than mine. We are called to “enflesh” the Word, kinda like Jesus (Word who became flesh - John 1). The Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4). How? In our lives for sure!

Allen said...

I think the way we come to know God is a bit mysterious, Donna. The Scriptures certainly use the language of being “called” by God. Faith comes by hearing. The Lord opened the heart of Lydia. The parable of the sower reminds us that the word is received in different ways. I don’t really know, but it seems that God and people have to work together to make it work out right. This is unlike the Lutheran view, which says God does everything. [I just read a book about Lutherans.]

Brent, we know that the Spirit of God operated differently before Pentecost, based on what Jesus says in John 14-16, right? If you read Luke’s gospel carefully, you will notice that Jesus relied heavily upon the Spirit of God. Interesting, very interesting.

The Trinity seems to be hidden in the Old Testament. Some say there are hints of the idea present in the plural language used in the creation story, but others argue it away. I think I am with Neva on bowing before the mystery.

On the Abraham scene: my favorite icon, The Holy Trinity, which is pictured on the opening page of this blog, is based on the story in Genesis 18. I have a link under “links” that explains a little more about the icon. People for centuries have seen this story as a representation of the Trinity. Here is a quote from a paper I wrote a few years ago about this:

Sometime after the death of Sergius, the Abbot of The Holy Trinity Monastery asked Rublev, who also had known and been influence by Sergius, to create an icon depicting the Trinity. Rublev, who shared the passion of Sergius for peace, infused this work with gentleness and harmony. He dedicated the work to “the single in Essence, Life-giving and Indivisible Trinity . . . in order that through its constant contemplation we may conquer our fear of the hateful disunity of this world.”

The subject of Rublev’s icon is the story of three angels, disguised as travelers, who are enjoying Abraham’s hospitality beneath the shady oak tree of Mamre. The story is found in Genesis 18:1-8. Rublev was not the first to use this story in an attempt to portray the Trinity. Most iconographers included, in addition to the three angels, details of the story: Abraham and Sarah, the tent, a servant killing a calf for a feast, and the shade tree.


If you really want to know more about all this you can click HERE


I don’t think the text of Genesis 18 necessarily suggests Trinitarian thought. Seeing the Trinity there is a good example of reading new ideas backwards into old texts, which is not totally unbiblical. Certainly Jesus and Paul do that.

You know this icon is the one I plan to see when I go to Russia in February. It fascinates me.

Sorry I got so “Gino/Ryan” on you (really long post). ha ha ha

Allen said...

Isn’t amazing how connecting with nature can transform so many things, Sherron?

Allen said...

Hey Erin, thanks for those positive, encouraging words. I, too, am very excited about small groups, and I agree that we are getting ready to experience some wonderful spiritual growth.

Anonymous said...

It was just a thought.
I'll take the Doctor's word for it.
That's what I get for thinking sometimes :]
Maybe it's the heat.
I'm getting ready to go jump in the Justy and drive my 38 miles home in it. The old 255 air conditioning just doesn't work too well in this weather.
Brent

Allen said...

Brent, you should feel affirmed not corrected. You detected and then reflected something that great minds have been doing for centuries. I am impressed! What is it about the French influence out there in Seymour that makes you and the Country Prophet so sharp? Who’d a thunk it?? Maybe the French aren’t all bad.

Anonymous said...

Im about to answer two questions at the same time. Some one in class last night ask does God answers non-believers prayers and then someone wrote on the blog asking Can we come to God on our own, or do we have to be drawn by the Holy Spirit? As most of you know, I have tried killing myself seven tiimes when I was in my teen all the way up to my early adult hood. I was not into God at all at the time but I did pray asking him for forgiveness, so I went to him each and every time. Next week story I will be adding into the blog talks about my 8 hour blizzard ordeal I went through when
I was in Baltimore MD. Again, I was unsaved but yet when it came down to needing guidance, I had to pray and ask God for it. When I went through basic training, I couldnt do 50 pushups to save my life. the final week, I went out and tried and I tried to do 50 pushups but 30 was the tops and if I didnt do the 50, I couldnt complete basic training. on the day of the final drill, I got down on my knees and I prayed asking God to give me the strength to do 50 pushups..when I got to 49, I felt that I had the strength to do a thousand more. But when I got to 50, I went down and tried coming back up but I couldnt. God had given me the strength to do what I prayed for. again I was not a believer but yet he still answered my prayers. God answers all prayers and it may not be in the way we want it but he does answers all prayers. When I went to church in Macon, the preacher there said, if God does not answer your prayers, then he already has, but with a no. We as Children of God never expect God to say no to anything we ask of and when we don' get what we pray for, we get upset about it. We need to be grateful for the things he does give us and be understanding for the things he doesnt.

Allen said...

The Bat

This is the most exciting thing that has happened to me in a while.

About 8.30 this morning Melissa calls me at home, where I was dutifully working on my sermon. Her words, full of fear, trembling, and laughter, went something like this, “There’s a bat in the office; we’ve trapped him in there. He ain’t one of those little ones; he’s big! He’s trapped in there and we turned the light off.” I think to myself, “Hmmm.” Hearing other voices, I asked her, “Who’s with you?” She quickly replied, “The kids.”

With my best reassuring voice I said, “Well, I have to take Rebecca to volleyball at 9. I’ll come by then.” Thinking ahead, I said, “Do you have a flashlight?” “Nope.” “OK, I'll bring one.”

I loaded up Rebecca and my 3 D battery Mag Light, black and well worn; it seemed eager for some bat action. I dropped Rebecca off at the gym and make my way over to the church building. I park on an angle (police officers and important people seem to do this), grab the Mag and make my way to the door. If you looked up “bravery” in the dictionary, then my picture at that very moment would have been there.

I reassure the women and children that everything will be ok. I go to the office door and shine my light through the slender, long window. The bat sees the light and begins to fly around. Indeed it is big, and it is very, very active. I go to the closet and get a broom, one with a wooden handle, strong and sturdy. Ralph comes in the building about this time.

We go over to the office door and Drew slips his hand into the room to turn the light on. The bat goes crazy, flying and swooping everywhere. We go down the hall and tie open the doors that lead out to the beautiful flowers. Melissa and her kids hold open the glass doors under the carport. It’s show time, baby, show time! I ask Ralph to watch through the office window. With broom firmly in hand, I open the door. The bat goes crazy but will not leave the room. My heart pounds. “I’m going in after him.”

I assume a crouched/squat position. Holding the broom in my right hand I walk, like a duck, into the room. The bat has landed temporarily on the ceiling. With my left hand I grab Collin’s little mesh train thing, using it as a shield. I make my way across the office. Suddenly the bat starts flying and swooping, just going crazy. I drop to my knees to gain better stability and leverage. I begin swatting at the bat. I land several blows, but he just keeps going in erratic circles, getting dangerously close to my head. We battle, this bat and me. Finally he has had one too many blows from the boom. He decides to exit the office.

He turns right, just as we hoped he would. I jump to my feet with the agility of a young cat; I rush to the door. The bat flies right to the intended exit, but then suddenly comes back at me. Swat! He heads south again, and then turns around, yet again, to come back at me. I think heard him say, “You wanna piece of me??”Swat! Again!

Finally he flies over my head and heads toward the foyer. Will he exit the carport doors? No! He’s heading toward the auditorium! Oh no! High ceilings! He could evade capture or death for a long time. Ahhh, but he makes a really bad bat move. He heads for the baptistry. I am Church of Christ. I know my baptistries.

Everything grows very quiet. “Shhhhh!” I tiptoe to the glass, Melissa, Ralph, and kids following cautiously behind me. I spot him. In hushed tones I said, “He’s hiding behind the step.” With wooden-handled broom I carefully poke at his insecure position. He falls into the water! With all the broom skills I could muster, I place the broom on top of him and hold him down. Will he escape? There were a few tense moments. As I came to realize that I had him, I thought to say, “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

After a little while I raise the broom and there he was! Baptized and dead. Perfect! Went to heaven before he had a chance to sin. Ralph took a towel and carefully removed him from the water. It was moving. We took him outside and examined him. His wing span was about 12 inches. He was big, but, and I’m not bragging here, he was no match for me. Oh, the life of a hero. Holy Smoker, and now, BAT MAN!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...This story would have been perfect but everyone knows, you do not move like a young cat.

Anonymous said...

When Jesus says to Judas in Matthew 26:24 The Son of Man indeed goes just as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born. What exactly is Jesus saying to Judas?

Anonymous said...

"One cannibal said to another, "I just ate a missionary and got sick and threw up". The other cannibal said, "I know, it's hard to keep a good man down".

Anonymous said...

Allen, taht was the best laugh I have had in a while!! Thanks!!
Diane
P.S.Now if I could just delete the image of you and ralph chasing that bat with a broom!!

Unknown said...

That was no ordinary broom.

That was The Bat Broom

BAM! POW! CRASH!

MKC