Monday, October 23, 2006

Marriage Matters & Matthew 5:17-20

What do you think of the Marriage Matters Seminar?

Here are some of my thoughts (feel free to respond to them):

What struck me yesterday was the call to radical commitment in marriage. If marriage is going to be what God designed it to be, then we must leave the way most of us do marriage. Lynn described it using the word reciprocity (>n. the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit). In other words we engage in a legalistic form of marriage where "if you take care of me and my needs, I will take care of you and your needs." This leads to score-keeping and trouble! God’s ideal in marriage is different; it is a relationship based on unconditional love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.

It is interesting what Jesus says in Matthew 5:17-20 (preaching text for Sunday).

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven."

If you read what follows these words, then you understand that it parallels yesterday’s challenge (not only for marriage but for every area of life, right?). Jesus is calling his audience to leave "the way we have always done it" and move radically into a new (right, deeper) understanding, a new ethic, a new way of life. In the text it will take this form, "You have heard it said..., but I say to you..." Read Matthew 5:21-48; Jesus provides six examples of how he is calling his Kingdom subjects to leave a legalistic form of living to embrace a new way of living that reflects God’s heart. Wow!

What do you think about that?
As you read Matthew 5:17-48 what impact does that have on marriage?
What about other areas of life? Would last week's blog have happened if we could learn to leave the priniciple of reciprocity in all areas of life, including church?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, I think the seminar is great! If it helps even just one marriage stay together then it has done what God intended. Second, I think every aspect of our lives seems to be "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". As Christians we need to have the heart of a servant to everyone and not require something in return for any good deeds we do. We should all do good things but not for the thanks or rewards, but because we love God and want to be as Jesus was.

Allen said...

Thanks Diane for the good comment! The Seminar was great again last night. I am really looking forward to tonight.

I notice there has not been much activity on the blog this week, and that is fine, of course. I think we all wore ourselves out last week! I am still reflecting on what happened and where it will lead us.

I am teaching a class at Oakland City University (Bedford,) The Biblical Basis for Missions. I love the class! One of the class assignments is to blog each week [www.ocu-bbbm.blogspot.com/]on some reading assignment. Last week I asked (assigned) them to read our blog discussion. They all enjoyed it (some were troubled by it initially). This is what one student said about it, notice especially the last sentence:

Wow! there was a lot of insight in your church blogs. I understand where anonymous is coming from. There have been times when I have felt the churches cold shoulder esspecially when I was a teenager. I would at times become overwhelmed with sadness and a feeling as if I was walking through life alone. Even now there are times when the feeling of lonliness creeps in. However, I don't feel that I am truly alone, and I can see from the blogs that anonymous is not alone either. Dr. Burris you have a lot to be proud of at your church. For the most part the congragents were compassionate wanting to understand why the individual felt so alone at church. This is an excellent example of the Missio Dei {Mission of God}. People giving of themselves in order to help the one who is in need. Dr. Burris, your Church has given all of us a Beautiful example of the Love, Compassion and Mission of God.
Congratulations
Lyndon

***

I am proud to be a part of this church. It is a wonderful blessing. Lynn Jones told me last night that she sees/feels a wonderful spirit among our group. It is a gift of God.

Anonymous said...

Michael and I are enjoying marriage matters and feel like we are learning tools to help us have a successful and happy marriage. We also are loving the book his needs her needs. (Allen we look forward to talking about the book with you!) Both of those tools are helping us already in our communication to each other and realizing what each of us needs.

On a side note i think MM is also helping me understand relationships with other people in my life too. Maybe MM should be called life matters because i really feel like its educating me on all areas of life not just marriage :O)

Allen said...

I am glad everyone is enjoying the Seminar. For the record it was not my idea, but I am glad it happened!

The church is purchasing the DVD's, so we will have those available for borrowing in the near future.

Anonymous said...

Hey all!
last week's blog was fascinating and i am sorry i missed it. really sorry donna went unchecked for a week! ( just kidding donna!!!)one thing that i really found so interesting was the original post last week from "anonymous". it was so fascinating to me to see how this post was responded too. without even knowing it, we set the tone for the seminars this week. by that i mean that the majority of the posts were so warm and heart felt apologies and offers to talk and work toward a solution. it would have been so easy for someone to have said; "it must be you". jerry & lynn have discussed in almost every session if not every session how you can build a positive relationship if the other party is always disected a blamed. i also found it so interesting that i could have read most of the posts and with out looking at the name, knew who wrote what. i enjoyed the discussions about church size, the flocks and such and allen and i have been discussing and debating this for some time so it was neat to see someone else bring this up.
one thing besides the quality of the lessons this week that has just made me feel so good is some of those in attendance. nice to see some of the younger and newer couples there and some of the less than regulars. great stuff. however, the best part to me is the older single women like carolyn and elizabeth. how cool is it that they are there! i am sure some of the topics take them out of their comfort zones but they are still there. a few weeks ago we talked about the "light" and "salt of the earth". those two are a couple of those type of individuals. it would be so easy for them to have stayed home and said that is not for me and oh my i can't believe they are talking about that. instead they are right there in the middle of it, supporting the church body and the works.
the seminar is really great to me that it may be entitled "marriage" but it really is about relationships in general and you can apply the principals to any relationship you have.
i keep wondering if our new adopted slogan or mission statement doesn't need to some how bring in the "heart of servant" more. as diane said our society is so "i'll scratch your back you scratch mine" or tit for tat and that is not the heart of as servant and not what god tell us or wants us to do. i may be really off base here but i think the scripture allen attached here is a true wake up call. we want to pick and choose what parts of his commandments we follow or apply and some of it we want to twist or define to benefit ourselves. for the most part it is not rocket science we just try to make it that way. this scripture pretty well tells us that parts or pieces are not going to be excluded, it is all there and we are expected to follow it all.
sorry to have rambled so much.
here is an open challenge or question. jerry and lynn both have mentioned some other programs they feel we need to offer to our community as a service. some pretty uncomfortable topics too. who is man or woman enough to do this? this is the heart of servant is it not, to come out of our comfort zone and supply or meet the needs of those around us? think about the polang gang. i am sure all of them were uncomfortable at first with the idea of going to poland, but no doubt god has blessed them because of it. hmmm...
RR

Anonymous said...

Hey, speaking of Poland: when are we gonna hear a report from them? I'd like to hear all about their trip. (Especially The Adventures of Super-Wayne!)
Also, I want to change our mission statement. I think it should read:
"Surrender. Resistance is futile."

Do you think that's a bit too harsh? :O)
Donna

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, wait! I've got another one:
"New and improved, with better cleaning power."

D.

Allen said...

The Polish Presentation will take place a week from Sunday. Yippee!

I have been thinking... I think we'll just stick to the present mission statement, although Donna's are... interesting, yeah, interesting is the word.

Anonymous said...

Funny where you find inspiration.
Sitting here doing my daily early morning routine ( which is part to check this website and read the post and the scripture)
As I was reading this, I looked at my Starbucks coffee cup. On the back it always has quote or comment from someone. Today's was #177. I read it an wasn't overly impressed until I got to the last line; " In any case, change will only come when we stop pointing the finger and start looking in the mirror."
Pretty true.
Whether it be or relationship at home, at work, with our church or with the world, this philosophy is true.
Good day!
RR