The Family Fleet

I know everyone is fascinated with all aspects of my life, so I thought I would give you a glimpse into another new area. This could be the most interesting one of all. We own a whole fleet of vehicles!

Rebecca drives a Ford Focus. This car originally belonged to her older brother Lester. When he entered high school I made a foolish promise. I told him if he graduated with a 4.0 that I would buy him a new car. [I was thinking that 4.0=full ride scholarship; wrong.] Well he did it, and I had to honor my word. He let me off the hook and was satisfied with a fairly new Focus. When Rebecca was ready for a car, Lester generously gave her his car in exchange for a truck that was not worth as much.

Let’s see, next would be our new ‘98 Ford Taurus station wagon, acquired last week (see previous post). She’s a real beaut, and it has already provided much happiness for others. I know this because everyone simply laughs when we tell them about the car. Kedra W. Griswold. This is now what my lovely wife is being called. Why, you ask? Because her car is a lot like Clark’s in Christmas Vacation. If anyone needs a Christmas tree hauled this winter, we have roof racks.

[Today, our deaf neighbor Roger came over. He brought his dog with him. As we were talking, he looked over his shoulder. I thought he was looking at Kedra’s car. He said something, and since his speech is a little slurred, all I heard was one word: crap. I thought he was talking about Kedra’s car, so I motioned for him to repeat himself. He then clarified that Benji his dog had just relieved himself in my driveway, next to Kedra’s car. I don’t think any of this means anything in particular.]

My precious reddish-orange truck is next, I suppose. I love this thing. It has 230,000 miles, two major dents–one made by Luke and one by Kedra, leaks oil, has a starter that sticks, no AC most of the time, and a few other interesting and unique qualities. It’s been a great ride so far.

Lately I’ve been driving the family’s pride and joy, the 4th member of our fleet, The Beastly Bronco. This started out as two vehicles; the boys with the help of Brent Fields made it one. The original $300 spent has been repeated several times over. Luke rolled it and then cut the top off. It’s had an interesting life. I love driving it. One day when I was going down the highway, a bunch of girls pulled up beside me and started hooting and hollering and giving me the thumbs up. Kedra W. Griswold thought they were making fun of me, but I know better. I just look stunningly good in the Bronco.

Now, aren’t you excited that you know more about me? Now you can impress your friends with your new found knowledge.