Why is it that I want to break out in song? A song about my troubles?Yesterday was beautiful! I ran early, which worked well with my schedule but it meant that it was cold and cloudy. I'm really tired of cold weather runnning. Perhaps it is about over? I'm getting ready to go again, though, and it is 38 degrees. It will warm up quickly though.
Yesterday pretty much unfolded as I thought it would, which is kinda unusual. There were not too many interruptions or disruptions. Henri Nouwen's quote is deeply imbedded in my heart, so schedule changes don't bother me like they once did. Nouwen said this (my paraphrase):
Most of life I have complained about interruptions to my ministry. Then I realized that the interruptions are my ministry.
A good run, some study, test prep, Capstone Ministries meeting, lecture on Catholic Reformation (the students were surprisingly alert and chipper after spring break), finish test, special project, pick up Ben @ 5, men's Bible study @ 7: a good, solid, busy day. There was one interruption. It slightly haunts me.
Around lunch time someone came in the building. Melissa was not in her office so I came out to see how I could help. It was a guy wanting overnight lodging. This kind of request is so difficult. We used to do a fair amount of it, but we kept learning that many of the people we were helping were con artists just looking for a free night in the local motel. We decided to stop doing it (in the name of good stewardship).
The guy explained he was coming from Maine and that the people he was coming to see had moved. He couldn't find them. He said he had been to every church in town and no one would help him get a room for the night; been to the police station too. I gently quizzed him about where he had been etc. Long story short: I told him that we simply didn't do this anymore. We instead poured our time, energy, money into helping people in need in other ways.
"So you are telling me that you are not going to help me," he said in an angry tone. "Yes, that's what I'm saying, and I'm sorry." He said, "You're not sorry, and you will pay for this! Don't tell me you are a church and then turn me away." As he left he kept shouting things at me. I didn't hear most of them; didn't want to.
I could quickly justify my actions by saying, "He's probably a con man" or something similar, but I really don't know. I always feel confused and somewhat guilty after these kind of exchanges, and I have had several of them over the years.
1 comment:
allen
i too always struggle with acceptance of situations like you described. actually i will say i find them haunting. never come to grips with what is the right thing to do. in this case i think about how did he get here, how did he not know the folks moved etc.
i always think back to my parents shortly after they had moved into a new house when i was growing up and a motorcycle came up the drive late at night in a storm. take into account we lived 1/4 mile off the road. the cyclist wanted out of the weather and said he had saw our light. with out hestitation my parents gave the guys dry clothes and made him a bed on the floor by the store and they went to bed! anything could have happened! early the next a.m. they heard the cycle start up on the road. of course they thought "i wonder what he took" but neither got up to check. luckily nothing was gone. late the next day, the guy shows back up and returns the clothes (washed and dried) and thanks them.
i often think my parents have been blessed many times over for this act, but it also scares me to think what could have happened and i struggle knowing i would not do the same thing.
maybe that is the point in such situations, it is to push us to really examine ourselves and look for ways to influence the world.
rr
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