Tough text this week!
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. "Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
What do you think about this?
Anyone you haven't forgiven? Why? (Anonymous posts are fine)
What else is on your mind this week?
Saturday, October 20, 2007
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Doing the Saturday evening post again this week...
Well, I had a new experience on Friday.
A few years ago I got a call from a funeral home in Indy, where Cory S., Julia J’s son, was a funeral director. A man who had some long ago roots to this area wanted his ashes buried at Liberty Baptist church (out in the country near Orange county); a local minister was needed to say a few words at the grave. Cory called and asked, and I said, “Why not?” That was 2002.
Last Saturday I got a call from the same funeral home where Cory used to work; they had my name and phone number on file. The wife of the man I had performed the committal service had died and was cremated, and the family wanted me to do what I did 5 years ago. I said, “Sure.”
Friday at 1 p.m. was the scheduled committal time.
Friday morning was my long run day with Tony, in preparation for our trail marathon on December 1st. My cousin Brent joined us, and we ran and hiked (up very steep hills) for 4 hours, starting in the dark at 7.30. I was a little nervous about doing all this before the grave-side deal, but it worked out OK, except I was very tired. I rushed home from Martin State Forest and got ready to go over to Liberty Baptist. I arrived at about 12.40.
There I met the female funeral director dressed in her nice black Brooks Brothers suit. We exchange pleasantries, and in the course of the conversation I enquired about the urn of ashes prominently displayed on a box by the headstone. She laughed and said, “Well, there’s been a mix up; nobody dug a hole for the ashes.” Then she lowered her voice and said, “I have a pick axe and a shovel in my trunk, and after everyone leaves I am going to dig the hole.” I won’t tell you what I was thinking at this point. The family made their way over our way, so we greeted them.
As we were talking to the family a kind older, local gentleman arrived in his not fully loaded F150. He scooted out of the front seat and reached into the bed. He held up a pair of post hole diggers and said, “I heard there was mix up, so I thought these might help,” as he held them out toward the funeral director and family. Her smiled quickly turned into an expression of “don’t-bring-those-things-out-here-in-front-of-the-family” concern. She diplomatically said, “Let’s just leave those in your truck for now.”
We gathered at the headstone, and I said my words, heavily flavored with Scripture. After I talked briefly to the family, I revealed to the funeral director what I had known the whole time: “I’m going to help you dig the hole.” She was pleasantly surprised.
We had to wait until the family left, but they lingered. Finally they left. The post hole diggers came out, and the sharply dressed lady opened the trunk of her black Buick. There indeed was a pick axe and a square bladed shovel. I told her that the pick axe would not be required.
Long story short: I dug my first grave, wearing my nice black Bill Blass funeral suit. She held my jacket, and the old man watched. We went down about 30 inches. The urn was lowered in the hole, and dirt was put back on/in.
Ah, another item for the old resume.
I think I created a little confusion this morning as I discussed my Lilly Endowment funded sabbatical. Kedra and the kids, after the trip to Australia and New Zealand, will return to “normal life.” The kids are going to miss 7 days of school, but its early in the semester. Hopefully they can recover.
The rest of the sabbatical–the study and the “eastern” trip–is going to be me alone. The few Sundays I am in the area will find me visiting other churches. This was part of my proposal; I am looking forward to worshiping without the concern that comes with my responsibilities.
well today was not a good day for me. for the last three days I have been throwing up everything that has been entering into my stomach and today in church I felt very weak. I really enjoy the first half of church this morning and Allen when you said something earlier about Jesus not being the man that people portray him to be, I wanted to lay a good kisser on your cheek. Good to see the blinders are finally off. well my friend the associate pastor at the house of prayer preached today and I must say that God was surely talking to me through both preachers today.
NCAA Swears it Will Put a Stop to Coaches' Cursing
Interesting.
Back to the task at hand...
I THINK I have forgiven everyone for everything.
Do you ever wonder, however, if you really have? Sometimes I hear people say that they have forgiven others, but there still seems to be a lot of bitterness and resentment toward the people they have forgiven. What does true forgiveness look like?
Thanks Jon G. for the picture on the front page of this blog!
Hopefully The Turkey-Iraq Mess will get settled soon, one way or another. All of this is on the east side of the country, and my travels will be on the western side. It is a pretty big place.
Here is an excerpt from an article entitled, The Atheist Indoctrination Project
Philosopher Richard Rorty argued that secular professors in the universities ought “to arrange things so that students who enter as bigoted, homophobic religious fundamentalists will leave college with views more like our own.” Rorty noted that students are fortunate to find themselves under the control “of people like me, and to have escaped the grip of their frightening, vicious, dangerous parents.” Indeed, parents who send their children to college should recognize that as professors “we are going to go right on trying to discredit you in the eyes of your children, trying to strip your fundamentalist religious community of dignity, trying to make your views seem silly rather than discussable.”
This is how many secular teachers treat the traditional beliefs of students. The strategy is not to argue with religious views or to prove them wrong. Rather, it is to subject them to such scorn that they are pushed outside the bounds of acceptable debate. This strategy is effective because young people who go to good colleges are extremely eager to learn what it means to be an educated Harvard man or Stanford woman. Consequently their teachers can very easily steer them to think a certain way merely by making that point of view seem fashionable and enlightened. Similarly, teachers can pressure students to abandon what their parents taught them simply by labeling those positions as simplistic and unsophisticated.
And we wonder why kids shipped off to colleges quit going to church?
Now for something lighter...
TWO ESKIMOS were out in their kayak when they began to feel cold.
To warm themselves, they lit a fire in the kayak. Of course, it sank. Which only goes to prove the old saying that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Diplomacy Staves off Turkish Incursion
I am really enjoying the rain!
So no one wants to talk about forgiveness (or anything else)? Are you people meeting secretly behind my back to have conversations? I’m not paranoid or nothing but I think it’s happening.
I haven’t said much about it, but we have been pretty busy remodeling the house across the road from us, the one right at the top of the hill. It was a mess when we got it. We have been working steadily but not stressfully for the last few weeks. It’s really starting to come together. It has actually given me some confidence to tackle some things around our own house, specifically my basement.
Forgiveness…..what about forgetting? Folks do and must forgive, but don't you think the hard part would be forgetting? It's hard to erase memories when we've been wronged or by words that have been spoken.
Different subject……ya gonna go get those cute shoes muddy today?
Tony
Sunday in my class we talked about the hardening of hearts. I think this becomes a HUGE factor in forgiveness or the lack thereof. Hardening is a slow process usually.
These words from the new Casting Crowns cd are pretty profound:
Slow Fade
Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises leave broken hearts astray
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
This is a little off topic, but has anyone else been following the fires in California?
The images are of the fire are spellbinding...I keep thinking this looks so bad, then what must Hell look like.
Mike C.
When you are wronged it is the hurt that makes the forgiveness hard to do. In time the hurt may fade but the scar is still there. I think the old saying about touching a hot stove--if it burns, stay away is probably true. We still look at the scar but we learned something from the pain if we are honest. We cannot insulate yourself from the barbs that come our way but we can control our reaction and wish no harm to the perpetrator. To mend the relationships, serious prayer and communication has to take place with honest confessions and determination to not go there again. That is because none of us are perfect and we do, whether we know we are doing it or not, hurt people--intentionally or unintentionally.We have a merciful God who forgives us and mercy is what we have to offer to others and always believe it was not intended to harm. Love believes the best in others. Even when it is intended we have to find reasons why and try to understand. Communication is the answer. Not everyone is kind, not everyone is true, not everyone does the right thing but God sent his son for those people and we have to react with love and be his representative here on earth. Sherron
I agree with tony. it's the forgetting part thats the tough row to hoe. Trust me i've heard all the hallmark card statements about "scars" "nails in the fence" "washed away" etc. But I really really wish God would have put a more detailed description of how to do that forgetting part (short of alzhiemers). Has anyone de-crypted any directions in there to enlighted the rest of us with. It would have been nice for another book to be added anywhere between acts and revelation called "how-to forgive and forget for dummys" ha ha..
BTW it is scientifically proven that the human brain retains bad vibes way more than good vibes. That's how we seem to never forget those painful times no matter how hard you try.. Take Care Ya'll.
Jon Goller
Jon, Good post. I think what helps me most is when they come to mind (the hurts) just get busy with something that will take my mind off it until the freshness or the rememberance of the pain goes to the background. I think our priority as Christians is to not let it fester inside because that will lead to sin within us and Satan wins. By placing our focus on Christ and his suffering--even though he never sinned as we do, and he forgave on the cross, -in pain, humiliated as we never have been, misunderstood, abandoned by his own disciples, betrayed by his disciple Judas, yet he suffered willingly for all of them and all of us. So like him, through his example, he asks us to be longsuffering. It is not easy. I sure haven't perfected it yet but to focus on God's word really helps with encouragement and direction and gives us strength to get through it. One thing about being hurt, it helps us empathize with others who are hurting and we might find a way to help them through our suffering and sharing how God brought us through it and helped us to put it away. And, yes it is possible to put it away and actually have relationship with those who hurt us. We may not at the time understand why, but as we know the person better new light may shine to help us. Have a great day. You are a good guy. I appreciate so much your honesty. Sherron
Hey, some good posts! Thanks.
Isn't memory fascinating?
How true we that tend to remember negative things.
We can choose what we remember, though, correct? Thought control is taught in the New Testament. Try these, for example:
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Correct on the choosing what to remember.
In my experience you don't actually forget but you choose to not claim the bad stuff, the hurt or the pain and the anger. Once you give it to God don't take it back. I have found it quite freeing, free of the responsibility of keeping it alive. I can think about it examine it, maybe try to gain some more understanding but I don't have to feel the pain or anger or the need to want to even the score. I have to admit tho at first in giving it away I might say...God don't like ugly and I wouldn't want to be you (hey you gotta start somewhere, better to start with a bad attitude and let God take it away than to not start) but it turns into peace eventually.
Annette
Annette, it’s so good to hear from you! We miss you down this way, but Pat is really enjoying your presence at his place.
Good words and thoughts, as usual.
I have pondered about writing since I know that I probably will begin rambling, but the spirit is telling me I have to say something. I think as christians we don't really grasp forgiveness. We think their should be some instantaneous healing of our emotions if we would just forgive and forget. I think the true healing comes if we forgive and yet still remember. It becomes a process just like all walks in our christian life. A process that is different for everyone, some can do it in a minute, others takes years. Personally I have struggled with guilt over the inability to forgive, which hindered my overall relationship with the Lord. I recently came across a christian book about forgiveness and it had an illustration that I thought made perfect sense. A young man was in an accident and had several surgeries including a bone set back into place. The doctor told him that it would take 4 months to a year to heal completely. No one at anytime approached that young man and said, "I have good news for you. All you have to do is forgive the man who was driving the truck that hit you and you will be instantaneously healed" No one would be so foolish, and yet, how many of us approach emotional brokenness in that same simplistic manner? We can only start people on their healing process, but the Holy Spirit is the only one who can accomplish healing in our lives. The person who has been wronged (victim) must be certain that he/she is in a position to receive it. I think in this parable we have a choice either be the "gracious lord" or the "unforgiving servant". As long as you hang on to that bitterness and unforgiving attitude you are subject to being "delievered to the torturers". I no longer wish to be held captive. I have released my dad from his debt and released myself into the arms of a Lord who is full of grace and mercy. My experience has shown me that forgiveness is a process. First, acknowledge the pain. Second, release my right to hold on to bitterness, resentment, and anger. Third, desire reconcilation. Fourth, I must extend an invitation to rebuild the relationship that have been in despair. I think we christians jump to the fourth too quickly. I have been reminded in scripture 2 Chronicles that I can either be Hezekiah or a Pharisee. Hezekiah knew the people had not done what they should have, but instead of holding them to the letter of law, he INTERCEDED in their behalf. Or I could be a Pharisee,adhering to the letter of law, which most of us have a justifiable reason not to forgive. I choose daily to forgive yet remember to bridge the gap through intercession prayer for my personal situation. My prayer while writing this is that someone who is dealing with guilt, stress over forgiveness, just know that it is a process and NOT just a quick fix.
Sorry 2 Chronicles 30 verses 18-20 Hezekiah prayer
Wow Anon, what good words you have spoken. Ramble any time you want!
Well I think for me its a matter of being too stubborn to let any one or anything bring me down. The truth of the matter is that I will be forgiven to the degree that I forgive others. Luke 6 verses 37 and 38. I know that I am needing gods constant forgiveness every day. People make me mad for a brief second and then there come those verses again. I have a joking slash sarcastic side to me that may at times seem negative but I hope people don't see me that way. Before I was a christian I thought the worst of people when I felt that they were being mean or unfair with me I wanted to pound on them but now I seem to make excuses for them. People at work think I let people get by with to much. I just try to give them the benefit of the doubt. It is better to think the best of them It keeps you from getting mad at them. Well I'm starting to ramble so I'd better go. P.S having a forgetfull mind helps too. By the way Allen that joke was what I would call delightfully tacky yet unrefined or somthing like that. Troy
Well, I’ve probably done it now.
I got repeated calls and messages yesterday morning from the Times Mail reporter Barbie J. She is a nice woman, and I have worked with her a few times before. Knowing she was facing a deadline, I returned her call quickly. She told me that Dr. Garrett at OCU-B suggested she call me since I teach the religious studies classes.
She wanted to know what I thought about Buddhism and specifically the visit of the Dali Lama. I told her right off that I don’t that much about Buddhism because I don’t have to deal with it much around here. Then I proceeded to tell her what I thought of the D.L., and this is what will probably get me in trouble with those people who like to write letters to the paper. I said that I like him. I like his gentle nature, his sense of humor, his peaceful ways. Then like an idiot I told her that I can learn from anyone and any religion. This is true, but some will likely see it as a compromise.
I kept rambling and rambling about Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and how there are admirable and helpful things to learn from all religions and philosophies. I said that Christians make a mistake in taking a negative and condemning posture toward others. Learn from them; appreciate their good qualitites and teachings. God is the author of all things, so there is truth everywhere. Paul makes reference to pagan writers and uses their teachings, etc. Think I am big trouble??
BUT, I said, and I emphasized this many times, at the end of the day everything must be governed by the truth claims of Jesus as the exclusive way to the Father.
What think ye?
Thank you T-Roy for those kind words about me being tacky and unrefined or something like that. It means a lot to me.
I am concerned however that you are making thinly veiled references to a Hooters T-shirt.
How would I know this? Well, a friend told me or something like that.
Mike Cope earlier in the week posted this quote from Henri Nouwen. Sadly, I don’t know where it taken from.
“When God looks at our world, God weeps. God weeps because the lust for power has entrapped and corrupted the human spirit. Instead of gratitude there is resentment, instead of praise there is criticism, instead of forgiveness there is revenge, instead of healing there is wounding, instead of compassion there is competition, instead of cooperation there is violence, and instead of love there is immense fear.
“God weeps when God looks at our beautiful planet and sees thousands of maimed bodies lying on the battlefields, lonely children roaming the streets of big cities, prisoners locked behind bars and thick walls, mentally ill men and women wasting their time in the wards of large institutions, and millions of people dying from starvation and neglect. God weeps because God knows the agony and anguish we have brought upon ourselves by wanting to take our destiny in our own hands and lord it over others.”
THIS is interesting and along the lines of our quote above about atheism. This attempt is directed at young children. It seems to me that atheists are becoming more agressive.
Allen:
I have to agree with you on the DL. Also agree with you that Christians often take too negative of approach to other religions. There are things we can learn from the DL. I wanted to go hear him speak actually but the price seemed a little pricey for me and not knowing how long he was going to talk, i opted to not do it.
RR
Allen, I agree with you on the D.L. There is lots we can learn from other religions and yes at the end of the day we must return to our faith knowing that Christ is the only way to the father. (it would be neat to have a class on the different religions just to learn about them and learn how to reach them for christ, i think steve g. taught one a while ago) I'm trying to have a more open mind with the people I work with because the majority of them are way way different than I am and have very different beliefs, if any at all.
There is no doubt that some religions have some very sound similarities with christianity and we should not deny those to other who question us about them. In the end though we must give account of why we believe what we believe that jesus died for our sins so we could live and not by all our good deeds that may look like other religions at times. T-roy
Good point, T-Roy!
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